latchki | Izuru is the worst cat

Izuru is the worst cat

[It's gotta be one or two am. A time when all princesses like herself SHOULD be sleeping. And yet, here she is, awake and on edge because of some crashing sound coming from the kitchen. Did a family member drop something going for a midnight snack?? Is someone breaking in?? Honestly, the thought that it could be her cat hasn't even crossed her mind yet, waking out of a dead sleep putting her on high alert for the worst scenarios. Either someone's trying to kill them or she is going to have to kill someone for being clumsy.

She's very careful as she creeps out of her room and makes her way into the kitchen. She has a knife in hand, ready to strike, and after a few beats whips around the corner into the room proper and brandishes it menacingly.]

Who's there?!

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[Once the initial crashes are over, there's silence in the kitchen, even as she approaches. If she squints, she might notice a dark silhouette perched atop the refrigerator, one leg hanging off it. His black tail twitches slowly with interest when she rounds the corner, ears perking in her direction.

Without a word, he just reaches sideways with a lazy, deliberate gesture, and knocks a stack of plastic cups off the top of the fridge. Good morning it's time to pay attention to him!!]

[......]

Are you shittin' me right now with this bullshit?

[Now that she knows it's just her asshole cat wanting attention, she relaxes, but all of the grogginess that usually comes from waking up hits her like a truck. God she's so tired. Rubbing her face, she lowers the knife and approaches the fridge.]

What Izuru-kun? What do you want? You scared the shit out of me, you know that?

How boring.

[The cups stopped making noise after clattering to the ground, so he's looking around for what else he can knock over. That glass jar of pickles looks pretty interesting...]

I woke up because it's too quiet.

[Thankfully she knows Izuru well enough to know that he's not done yet - not if he's still saying boring - and moves to snatch that jar before he can knock it over. No. Bad.]

I'm sorry it got quiet but I bought you all those fun toys that make noises. Why didn't you play with those?

[Why did you have to go immediately to Destroying Everything.]

[Hey :C That's his jar???]

I grew tired of those.

[He leaps down from the fridge easily, landing in a fluid crouch. His hair pools around him for a moment before he rises to his feet, appraising one of the cabinets higher up.]

Glasses are next to the sink, correct?

[Yeah he's. Heading that way.]

No no no no no--

[She quickly sets the jar down and moves to grab his arm, pulling him away from the sink.]

If you're bored I'll play with you. Don't make more of a mess than you already have, you're lucky Peko-chan didn't come out here and skin you alive for this!

I sealed her door shut with epoxy.

[Which he found and immediately put to good use?? You're all welcome.]

I thought you intended to sleep.

[His tail flicks a few times in interest as he looks past her. Maybe he could jump over her and go after that nice ornamental scroll hanging there...]

I'm not gonna sleep if you're bored and lookin' for attention. The fuck kind of pet owner would I be?

[And what kind of family member would she be if she let him wreak havoc. Her grip on his arm tightens, not sure what he's looking at now but not wanting to risk letting him destroy anything else. Actually, with that she starts tugging him out of the kitchen.]

Come on. What do you want to do? As long as it's not makin' my parents want to kill the both of us, we can do whatever you want, okay?

[He follows along easily enough, though he's still keeping an eye out for things he can knock off the walls. It's fun to watch them hit the ground, okay?? Let him have that!!]

Whatever I want? [He repeats, dragging his free hand's fingers along the wall as they walk.] It's not my place to know that. You are the owner, after all. If it's your responsibility, find something interesting for me.

[Maybe this is why such a high-quality pet was offered at such a bargain??]

[No wonder he was such a bargain...she loves him, really she does. His attitude is pretty funny? But god sometimes it's a pain, too. He gets so bored so easily, how is she supposed to know what's interesting?]

Hmm....alright!

[Reaching out, she takes his other hand so he's not running the risk of knocking something expensive down and takes her into his room. Once the door is shut, she moves to pull just a couple of things off the wall - a framed poster, signed by the idol it's advertising, and a few of her favorite magazine spreads of Junko Enoshima - and steps back.]

You seem to be enjoying knocking shit off, you may as well do it to my shit.

[At least everything in her room is replaceable...side from the few things she's pointedly keeping by her side. But there are plenty of glass figurines and expensive wall decorations, things sitting on her furniture, some of her make up that's been left out on her vanity. To her it seems like it'd be a great place to get his destructive tendencies out.]

Just be careful, okay? Some of that shit's glass and I don't want you gettin' any of it in you.

...

[He looks over the room appraisingly, moving past her to inspect some of the more breakable items more closely. That figurine there looks like it would be fun to smash... but it's not the same if she's letting him do it!!

He keeps moving, carefully inspecting everything that could possibly be knocked down before sitting abruptly in the middle of the floor.]

No.

Huh--no??

[Obviously surprised by this answer, she frowns and furrows her brow.]

Why not?

I don't want to.

[It's pretty childish when it comes down to it. She's already giving him attention, that's what knocking everything down was supposed to accomplish! What's the point of knocking more stuff down that she'll have to clean up later? And then stop paying attention to him.]

It's boring.

[BUT YOU WERE JUST DOING IT YOU LITTLE SHIT--

She takes a deep breath and sighs, rubbing at her face a little. Okay, so that's a strike...]

Alright, well...how about we go for a walk? I bet we can find somethin' fun to do outside. I even got one of those extending leashes today, so you can walk a little further away from me and check shit out if you want!

[Who cares that it's 2am and she's not allowed to go out without someone accompanying her?]

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Izuru is the worst cat

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